Help Me Remember
by Milka-Weasley
Summary: [CHAPTER SEVEN IS UP and THE STORY SO FAR IS RE-WRITTEN] Hermione's lost her memory. How? When? Why? Nobody knows. All she's got now is an oddly looking stick, a beautiful necklace and some good people who'll give their best to help her remember, although
1. Prologue: The Awakening

**Help Me Remember**

-fanfic by **Milka-Weasley**-

**Prologue: The Awakening**

"Doctor Sanders," nurse Applegate whispered to him, "A woman came and asked for her daughter. I think it's possible to be her mother... Just a thought anyway."

Michael Sanders seemed rather excited to hear this news. He immediately left the reception room and both of them hurried down the hall to his office. It seemed as though they were worried the woman might escape if they wouldn't get there on time.

"Thank you, Miss Applegate," he said to the nurse when they came to the door. "I'll take her from here."

He slowly entered his office, seeing a short middle age woman sitting in a chair near the office desk. Michael noticed she had an exhausted expression on her face. One brief look at her eyes told him that the woman was still hoping, though. Her small hands were curled up in her lap. The entire sight gave the impression she had been through a lot of pain and suffering.

The woman stood up, but the doctor softly said:

"No need for that. Be sure to make yourself like home."

She tried to smile, but only a cramp appeared on her face. "My girl...", she muttered, "Is she here?"

"We don't know that just yet, Mrs…?"

"Davis."

The doctor shortly nodded. "Mrs Davis, I think it'll be necessary for you to describe me your daughter, so we can see if she's at our hospital."

Mrs Davis sighed. "My girl…" she said absent-mindedly, as though she was trying to remember her daughter. "She's got the nicest smile in the whole wide word. Her voice could melt the hardest hearts…" The woman startled at her own words. "Not could. It still can, I am sure. She is a beautiful girl, doctor. Yeah… very beautiful."

"I am sure she is," the doctor patiently said, "But what I need to know is how she looks like. What is the colour of her hair? Her eyes? Does she have any specific scars? Tattoos? Piercing?"

"My girl has a long and flat blonde, almost golden hair. Her eyes are like two wonderful diamonds. You never know whether they are blue... or green... or grey... " Mrs. Davis tiredly said, but managed to smile at the mention of her daughter.

The expression on doctor's face suddenly changed. It became stiff and blank and showed no real intrigue any more. It wasn't her mother, after all.

Mrs. Davis seemed to feel the sudden change. Her motherly instinct told her that once again her search ended as a failure. A quiet sob escaped her lips.

"I am sorry, Mrs. Davis." doctor Sanders tenderly whispered, leaving the woman to cry in peace. "I really am."

He calmly put his hand on her shoulders. Then he turned around and slowly went out of his office. There was absolutely nothing left he could do for her.


	2. Chapter One: The Mysterious Girl

Doctor Michael Sanders concernedly sat near the girl's bed - just like he had done the night before that… and the night before that… He had watched the girl sleep every day and night for the past few months she was there. The room 245 became something like a sanctuary to him. He would sit there for hours hoping that she would wake up.

Michael didn't know anything about her. Nobody did. He didn't know her name, her habits or her personality. All he knew was that the girl had a bit bushy brown and wavy hair. Nothing else. He only guessed she could be 16... Or 17... Or maybe even older. He wouldn't know. One thing was for sure - she was still a girl… a child… who was turning into a woman.

He remembered a couple of policemen found her lying on a street three or four months ago.

Back then, she was still awake, but not quite conscious. She had a few bruises and a wound beneath her elbow. The girl also had a piece of wood with her which she squeezed very hard as though she didn't want anyone to take it away from her. The staff thought it might be very important to her, so they kept it. She also had a necklace around her neck, which was saved too.

Michael remembered the girl kept muttering words like _"No!'_ and _"Get away from there!"_ over and over again. At one point she simply passed out.

After that, she had never woken up again.

From that day on, whenever somebody would come with a story that could possibly fit hers, doctor Sanders's heart would jump with a start. But… whoever came asking for their missing children wasn't searching for her.

To Michael Sanders, this girl was a sad story that needed to have a happy ending.

And he promised he would do everything he could to make it possible.

There was a knock on doctor's office and the nurse entered without waiting the response from him.

"Doctor Sanders, I am sorry for interrupting you, but…"

"Miss Applegate," Michael's slightly annoyed voice replied "can't you tell I am quite busy right now?"

"Yes, doctor, I know, but this is urgent…"

"Everything is urgent in hospitals."

The nurse didn't give up. "Still, I'm sure you will be interested in this."

"Alright," Sanders realized he had to let go "what is it then?"

Miss Applegate smiled. "The patient in room 245."

"Yes? What about her?"

"She's finally conscious, doctor."


	3. Chapter Two: I Remember The Leaves

**Chapter Two: I Remember The Leaves...**

Michael Sanders entered the room 245, immediately looking at the familiar bed. He noticed that the girl sat, her face turned to the window. Doctor took a deep breath, trying to slow down his unusually fast heart-beats. He was a doctor, yes; It wasn't his first time to talk to a person who was in coma… But this was different. This wasn't just some person – this was a child. A lost child whose parents or friends weren't here. Heavens know that Michael wanted to see her awake. It was his only desire for the past few months… He thought about her awakening all the time, but now that it had actually happened, he wasn't quite sure what to ask or what to say

Michael sat on a chair, deciding to ask the question doctors always ask their patients.

"How are you?"

The girl didn't look at him, just like he thought it might happen, she only continued staring through the window. Michael didn't want to push her too hard so he waited patiently for her to speak.

"Where am I?" she hoarsely asked after minutes of silence.

"You're at hospital."

The girl blinked. Hospital... The word sounded so familiar, yet so strange. She knew it had something to do with the people in white... 

_What were their names? Oh, yes. Doctors. Silly me. And… nurses, too. The man who entered the room must be a doctor... Hospital… Yes….Wasn't that a place where wounded or sick people would rest and recover? Then… what on Earth am I doing here?_

But before she could ask that, there was another burning question. Much more important one. It was trying to get out of her mouth, but she didn't want to let it. Something was wrong… very wrong…

_I can't ask that. He will think I am crazy!_

Still, she needed to know. There was no way out – she needed to get the answer._ I should be ashamed of myself… I really should… But I ought to know this. _

"Who am I?"

Doctor's heart tightened. His hopes flew away just like they had came. If she didn't know who she was… how could anyone else?

The girl now turned her head to face the doctor, putting her bushy hair behind ears. For the first time in his life, Michael saw the colour of her eyes – they were dark brown and very deep and he could clearly read confusion and embarrassment in them.

"We…" he started, sighing deeply. It was so hard to respond.

_Why the hell must life be so unfair?_

"We actually don't know who you are. We had prayed that you'd be the one to tell us that…"

She blinked a few times, as tears immediately filled her tormented eyes. Michael could see she was bravely gritted teeth giving her best not to cry.

"So... You want to say - you don't even know my name?"

Michael avoided to answer this directly. He put his hand in a pocket and took out the necklace that belonged to the girl.

"We've found you wearing this the night you were brought here," Doctors Sanders showed the necklace to her. It had three small golden letters attached to it. "I figured they might be your initials… but they could be something else, too. Here, take a look."

The girl took the necklace out of the doctor's hand, trembling slightly. She stared at the three letters for a few minutes.

**_H R H_**

They looked so beautiful together. She felt some odd attachment to them. It seemed as though those letters were describing her entire life and everything that she had ever loved or cared about. _That cannot represent my name then, can it?_

"We'd also found a stick with you, but I don't have it here right now." 

_A stick? Why would I have a stick with me? That makes no sense... Can't break my head because of it now, really…_

She squeezed the necklace harder.

"If I don't know mine," she quietly said, breaking the silence, "then may I know your name?"

Michael gave her an encouraging smile.

"Of course. I apologize I didn't tell you sooner. My name's Michael Sanders and I'm your doctor, as you may have already guessed."

She simply nodded and looked through the window once again, suddenly noticing something she didn't see earlier. The leaves of the trees were yellow and brown. Some of them were already on the ground. True, she couldn't remember her name or her life, but she was almost positive that the last time she had seen the leaves… they were green.

"I remember… I think I do, anyway… I remember leaves being green... healthy... fresh. How can it be they're yellow and dry now?"

"That's because you're here for more than three months. Almost four."

The girl didn't seem to understand.

"You were in coma until today."

Michael expected everything but not the reaction she had. Smile.

_Is there anything else about me that I don't know? Probably. I am like a body with no memories now. No soul. Nothing. Just splendid._

She had no idea what to do. Or say. Everything seemed so hopeless.

Doctor Sanders realized that her smile was a sign of despair. Michael couldn't let her let everything go. He swore that he would help her even if it's the last thing he'd do.

"Don't worry," he said fatherly, ignoring the not interested expression on her face. "I will be there to help you get through the rough time. The nurses will help you overcome all the difficulties, too. I guarantee to teach you how to live a new life. And, believe me, you will remember your previous life one day. Sooner than you think! But first, we have some hard stuff to do and I'll need your cooperating more than everything."


	4. Chapter Three: Helen

**Chapter Three: Helen**

"I still can't believe I'm really going to leave this place..." the girl sighed as she looked how the nurses cleaned her room for the next patient. Room 245. her attachment was justified and normal; it was the place where she laughed… smiled…. learned to live again.

After few months of practice, mental exercises, tests and recovering, she was finally ready to go and start a new life. But somehow… she didn't really want it.

Luckily, the hospital had enough money to buy her a small apartment with one room, little kitchen and a bathroom. Michael was the one to make the request for it. That was supposed to be her home when she'd leave the hospital. She was very grateful, but it felt awkward in the same time as well.

"Helen," Michael Sanders said, "the important thing is that you've managed to fight main difficulties in your life. You know that."

She smiled. Everybody called her Helen on her own request. She figured that the first letter H on the necklace could be her name. Helen simply looked pretty to her. And after all, she didn't want to be "the patient from room 245" forever.

Helen loved Michael as though he was her father, but she was afraid of telling him that. He was the one to give her strength when she would get tired. He was the one to give her hope when she'd think everything was hopeless. He did everything a father would do. Father she didn't have… or did? She didn't know that. And now it was time to say goodbye to a man who only mattered in her life. How?

Michael felt the same way about her, but he had to treat her like a patient. One comes, other goes.

Yeah, that's how it should be. But it wasn't.

Michael opened his mouth to tell her that it's time for her to go and pick up the clothes that nurses gave her, but Helen prevented that. She suddenly squeezed him so strongly that it was hard to believe that a girl so thin could have strength like that.

"Thank you, Michael," she cried "I will never forget how you believed in me. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. Thank you."

"It's okay, Hel." Michael Sanders muttered. "It was a pleasure. Everything's going to be fine."

_Will it really? Will this girl be able to go on with her life all by herself? There won't be anyone to support her and she will be all on her own._

Helen suddenly remembered something nobody had mentioned for quite some time.

_Am I right when I say that there was a stick with me when I was found? Well, it's worth a try. _

"Have you ever told me that I had a piece of wood with me when I was found?" she asked Michael with lots of interest, feeling her heart jumping, like it would always do whenever a thing related to her previous life would be mentioned… Object that connected her with life she couldn't remember.

"Now that you've mentioned it," doctor said, wrinkling his forehead "yeah, there was something. You're right. Who's got better memory now, eh?"

"Don't..." Helen muttered quietly. Memory wasn't her favourite topic.

"Sorry." Doctor Sanders softly said, "I'll be right back, as soon as I check if we still have that stick of yours. Meet you at the reception room, okay?"

He squeezed Helen's hand and turned around, disappearing through the door.

She stayed a couple of minutes more, then realized it would be a lot easier for her is she would get lost from there as soon as possible.

"Yeah," mumbled Helen to herself, grabbing a book she used to read before sleep from her old bed.

"It will be hard, but I'll live. Goobye room 245." She whispered and closed the door.


	5. Chapter Four: The Dream

**Chapter Four: The Dream**

Helen walked slowly towards a tall modern building where the given apartment waited for her. As she dragged her feet, she could still hear echoes of the lovely words from everyone at the hospital: Mrs. Applegate's, Mr. Foster's, the other nurses and doctors, and, of course, Michael's.

They made her feel truly loved.

_Why did I have to leave them then? _

Helen knew the answer very well although she was afraid to admit it - all of them had their own lives, besides the professional one. Michael had a lovely wife who would always bring Helen fruits when she would visit her husband and two precious sons Helen saw a few times. They were so happy together.

And even though Michael had husband and father duties, he would always find enough love and support in his heart to give Helen as well. How many times had Helen imagined being a part of the Sanders family...? 

There was probably no answer to that question.

Deeply lost in her thoughts, Helen didn't notice that she was already at the third floor. _Her_ floor. She saw a white door that didn't have a name tag on it, unlike the others.

_It's because nobody lives there…_

Helen grabbed the key from her purse and put it into the lock. She turned the key two times and went inside.

The flat was small but arranged. It had one room which was bright and sunlit. Helen could see a nice comfortable sofa, a small table and a TV. There was a night table in one corner and a telephone on it. 

_Everything I need, eh…_

But she could feel loneliness in there. Sour. Smell of isolation.

Helen left the bags she carried on the small table and lied down on the sofa. She wasn't tired, but she still felt a need to rest.

_If I'm going to start a new life, then I better leave the life in hospital… As soon as possible…_

It was really crowded and noisy. A lot of people were talking at the same time, making the atmosphere rather friendly. They were mostly teenagers and slightly younger kids, all in one circled room. There was a fireplace made of stone in one corner, a big table and a lot of squashy armchairs everywhere.

"Snape took me 10 points for reading the ingredients out loud!" somebody yelled sounding annoyed, "Can you believe it?"

"He's a lunatic, mate" answered somebody else, "but he's got the power."

"Man, I wish I could punch him in his slimy face!"

"Can't wait till tomorrow," a girl excitedly announced, "We'll beat the hell out of Slytherin, for sure!"

"But, firstly I have to finish this homework," a fourth voice complained "and I still have two roles of parchment to do!"

"It was so interesting today at Transfiguration. We learned how to turn different parts of bodies into something else. You should have seen Neville with a thumb instead of his nose!", one boy sincerely laughed, "That was hilarious!"

"Hey!" somebody protested, "it was an accident! It could've happened to you too!"

Among all of these people, two figures started to become sharper and sharper, like in a slow motion. The crowd was still talking but their words weren't understandable any more. The faces of the two figures were still blurred, but there was something very obvious – one of them had messy black hair and the other one had red hair like fire. They were both trying to say something. The red-haired opened his mouth, but no words came out. He tried to call her… He tried to call her by her real name…

"He…"

Helen woke up with a start. She was having that dream again…. The dream she loved so much… The dream with a lot of agreeable noise and so many familiar words she wouldn't know what they meant as soon as she'd wake up… The dream with so many friendly looking faces…. The dream that would make her feel safe and comfortable…

Every time Helen would wake up after a dream like this, she wouldn't be able to remember anything.

But this time, there was something else besides the usual pleasant feeling. She seemed to remember one thing. Helen could swear there were two faces that belonged to some people she once knew so well... And one of them was even going to say her name...

A ridiculous, yet possible thought streamed through her unawake mind.

_Maybe that dream has something to do with life I can't remember. Maybe I could even discover more about myself while dreaming... Darn… If only I could remember every little detail... _

But that wasn't something she could exert influence on.


	6. Chapter Five: Bookland

**Chapter Five: Bookland**

_I have to do something... anything! Or I will completely go crazy here…_

After almost two weeks, it had become a fact - Helen couldn't bear the emptiness any more. The emptiness in her apartment… her room… her heart.

Every day was like the previous one, monotonous and boring. Helen would sit in front of the TV for hours until she' would get enough. Then she would eat until she'd burst.

_I can't do that anymore. I need a change! _

Smaller or bigger one -it didn't matter.

The only thing Helen looked forward to were nights. Her dreams were always colourful and nice, so she would completely relax and enjoy. Helen knew the dreams showed the ones she used to love once… But she also knew that dreams didn't make life… Something else did.

_How about going to some classes? Karate, maybe? No... Ballet?_

"Honestly, where do you get these ideas?"

Helen liked to talk to herself from time to time. It would just make an illusion she wasn't alone. The only person she would occasionally talk to was the postman when she'd need to pay bills. And Michael Sanders sometimes too, but that was only when he was not too occupied with patients and his own life. Which meant – rarely.

Then, suddenly, an idea occurred to Helen.

_And… why wouldn't I get a job? _

Helen grabbed the newspapers as soon as the thought formed in her mind. She frantically started to search for anything she could do.

"Group exercise leaders… nope… physical therapist… er, no… housekeeper… no, thanks… computer something something… grrr!"

She kept trying to find something that would suit her, but it didn't seem to be very easy. Almost twenty minutes passed, and she was still searching.

_I'm not qualified to do any of these jobs... Or maybe I used to be, but can't remember…_

"This amnesia is really one terribly screwed up thing!"

_Duh! Well spotted, smartarse._

Helen skimmed through the newspapers again. Just when she wanted to throw them away, she saw a tiny advertisement asking for a worker in a small book-store.

"Bookstore! That's perfect – I love books!" she exclaimed and instantly decided to call the people who gave the add. "I could do this!"

Helen practically ran to her telephone. She quickly dialed the number that was printed in the newspapers and waited for somebody to pick up the phone.

A pleasant female voice answered. Helen squeezed the receiver hoping for the best.

_"Bookland, may I help you?"_

"Um, hello." Said Helen, momentarily crossing her fingers, "I am calling to check if the place for a saleswoman is still available." 

_"As a matter of fact, it is"_ replied the woman, _"Are you interested?"_

"Oh, yes," responded Helen more enthusiastically than she wanted to, "Very!" 

The woman smiled hearing a sound of relief on the other side of the line.

_"Well, if you wish, you can come tomorrow at 10 o' clock in the morning for a small conversation. Just a simple meeting." _

"Of course!" Helen cheerfully said, "Thank you."

She hung up, feeling excited and happy.

_I might get a job! I might get a job!_

That would definitely be something to estrange Helen from her misery and a great chance to meet some people...

_If I get the job, of course._

_Relax, girl. Take a deep breath and go inside._

Helen stood in front of the book-shop having second thoughts. She wasn't sure if she should enter at all. It was freezing outside, but still she couldn't make herself enter. Helen shivered with cold and nervousness.

_What if they don't like me? What if they find somebody much better than me?_

Who knows how long she'd stay in front of the shop if it didn't started to snow. Helen wasn't dressed for show, so there were only two ways out of this situation now. To go home… or to come in…

_Oh, get a grip! Where's your self-confidence? Chin up, you're going in!_

Helen opened the heavy door and a lot of bells immediately jingled. She thought how it felt very nice to hear the ringing bells.

Helen looked around. Each and every one of shelves had lots of decorative strings with little Santa-Clauses and reindeers on them. Beautiful garlands and starts hung from the ceiling. The entire inside of the book-store smelled like holidays, which made Helen sure that she used to love Christmas. Besides, who could resist such wonderful holiday?

"Good day, miss. How may I help you?"

A young black haired woman , who appeared to be slightly older than Helen, greeted her. Her hair was long and curly but very shiny too. She was almost the same height as Helen and had a constant smile on her face. The first impression was that she really enjoyed life and that she was available and willing to help.

"Is there something you're specifically looking for?"

"No, but thanks a lot," replied Helen, feeling kind of guilty that she wasn't there to buy anything. "I'm actually here… to talk to somebody about… getting a job."

"Oh, I see!" chuckled the girl. "New flesh. What's your name, by the way?"

Helen wasn't sure what to answer. She didn't really even have a name, but still – maybe it was better to have a made up one, than not have a name at all.

"Helen." 

"My, my! For a moment there I thought you've forgotten your name, "grinned the girl widely "And, although you haven't asked, my name's Marissa."

Helen smiled as the girls shook hands. Then Marissa turned on her heal.

"This way, Helen. Follow me."


	7. Chapter Six: Deanna Jones

**Chapter Six: Deanna Jones**

Helen nodded and followed the girl. They left the main quart of the shop and entered a strait passage. Marissa led her to a massive wooden door and knocked a few times. An abstruse voice responded and they walked into a small room that had only a table and a couple of chairs. Many pictures and portraits hung all over the walls, and Helen noticed a lot of books and an old radio lying on a desk. The woman who owned the Bookland read a book and didn't stop reading until Marissa spoke.

"Deana, this is the girl who called you yesterday. Her name's Helen. Oh! I must be leaving you two, I think I heard a customer walking in!" Marissa gave a quick smile to Helen and momentarily went out.

Helen looked at her hands, then feet, then decided to look at the woman. Deanna was a blonde woman and Helen reckoned she was, more or less, 30. She was wearing one coloured jumper and a common pair of jeans. Besides this ordinary stuff, Helen noticed one amusing detail on Deanna's left hand. She wore a lot of bracelets that symbolized Christmas. One of them had small Snowmen, the other one showed little Christmas-trees, and there were a few with tiny bells on it. Deanna was obviously one of those people who really enjoyed holiday times. 

"Have a seat." Deanna finally said, gesturing towards Helen. "Cigarettes?" 

"No, thank you." Helen responded without thinking. "I don't smoke."

_Or… do I?_

"So, tell me… er, Helen, right? How old are you?" asked Deanna, curiously studying Helen's face. "You look pretty young to search for a job. Shouldn't you be in some high school or college or something?"

Once again, Helen had no idea what to answer.

_Should I make something up or… or… just say the truth?_

Deanna seemed like a nice person at first glance. The whole store was friendly looking and the sales-woman, Marissa, was rather likeable as well. Helen caught herself thinking how she really wanted to work there.

_Then why shouldn't I just say what's the real deal with me?_

"You didn't runaway from home, or something like that?" asked Deanna suspiciously, realizing that Helen was thinking what to answer.

Helen smiled but put back on her serious look right away.

"Um... No… not really. Er, this may sound a bit weird to you, but…"

"They've thrown you out?"

Helen couldn't help but grin, even though she was trying to say a painful thing. Deanna reminded her of a big child for some reason. Maybe the holiday bracelets had something to with the impression too.

"No… Actually, it'll sound even more odd, but… but I don't know how old I am. I neither know what my real name is… nor whether I smoke or not. I've actually got… well, I've got amnesia."

Helen clearly said the last word, but in a much lower voice. The expression on her face almost showed disgust at the mention of amnesia.

Deanna looked flabbergasted. "Dear Lord…"

Deanna Jones had never met anyone in her entire life who had amnesia and the fact the poor girl didn't know anything about herself was almost unbelievable to her.

"But…" she managed to say after several moments of silence. "How can it be possible that you don't have anyone to… I don't know… tell you about your life? I mean, you've gotta have family that could tell you your past, right?"

Her voice was almost begging, but Helen simply shook her head.

_Yes, it is quite unbelievable. A young girl such as myself with no family.. Without anyone in the world that could connect her to something that happened before... _

Sometimes Helen would ask herself if her parents had ever even cared.... Had they looked for her at all? Or had they stopped doing that after some time? Did they try hard enough to find her? Or what if she hadn't had parents at all...?

"Friends?" Deanna was persistent.

"No…"

"Cousins?"

"Not that I know of…"

"Enemies?!" cried Deanna.

Another head-shake.

"How can that be?"

"I don't know," shrugged Helen, trying to sound as calm as possible. "A couple of policemen found me lying near one street a half a year ago or so… and brought me to hospital. I had been in a coma for a while… so doctors think that something terrible must have happened to me. An attack or something. When I woke up, I had no idea who I was. There was nobody to tell me."

Deanna stared tensely. She couldn't say anything and her look was lost somewhere in Helen's eyes.

"Then," Helen continued, "after months of recovering, here I am, ready to start a completely new life. In this book-store… Yeah…"

Helen smiled trying to look as happy as possible, but the sorrow in her eyes assured Deanna that Helen was in lot of pain. There was no smile that could trick what eyes would show.

"I'm so sorry," she tenderly whispered, "I know how it feels to lose a loved one, though I have no idea how it must be to lose… everything… I really hope you'll find a friend or just a replacement for it in me. And I believe Marissa will be there for you as well."

Helen's hazel eyes widened.

"Oh, you don't mean I actually…"

"'Course I do. I mean, I can only believe your words… and as far as I know, you can be an insane psycho killer on loose, but… you didn't really think I'd let you go away with such a sad smile on your face, did you?" winked Deanna, smiling. "All I want from you is to be here every day at 8 o' clock and work till 5. And of course, try to sell a book from time to time. Marissa will explain everything you find confusing. Now, go run home and get some rest because the working day starts early tomorrow."

Helen could feel enormous amounts of happiness running through her taut body. She opened her mouth to say how grateful she was, but there were no words…. No voice….

Deanna realized Helen had troubles speaking because of the over excitement, so she simply said:

"Don't bother thanking, girl. You'll see what kind of a witch I can be when I officially become your boss."


	8. Chapter Seven: Evil Destiny

**Chapter Seven: Evil Destiny**

Those first days at work were harder than Helen imagined they would be, but it wasn't without a reason. The holiday fever had made effect on everyone – children, parents, boys, girls, grandmas, grandpas… Everyone. People would search for books and buy lots of colourful greeting cards from early mornings till the shop would be closed in the evening. Soon, Helen simply didn't know the meaning of the word "break". If there wasn't Marissa to help her from time to time, Helen would be completely lost.

But… The truth is, in a very strange way, Helen liked it all. She loved having hands full of work. She loved being able to help people. She simply enjoyed being preoccupied. Even the days at home had become less scary. Occasional watching TV seemed completely fine nowadays. 

One more thing made Helen's life less monotonous – Marissa. She had a habit to bump at Helen's place every once in a while. They had become quite good friends after some time.

Marissa would make Helen laugh with almost every sentence she'd say and Helen loved listening to her. It felt as though once upon a time somebody else had made her laugh like Marissa did… but, Helen didn't know why she thought that.

The life seemed to become merrier and merrier with every passing day. But, there was still no sign of anything that would make Helen's heart jump with a start or connect this life with the previous one. 

Until one day.

"Bookland" had gotten a lot of new history books which badly needed to be arranged, so it was Helen's and Marissa's job to put them in order. They grabbed the large boxes and went to the farther part of the store where the shelves weren't entirely filled. Helen cheerfully hummed some Christmas tune as she was putting the tomes in order. A few of the books turned out to have very interesting titles so she found herself peeking inside curiously.

"Listen to this" Helen said to Marissa, as she skimmed through a book called _The Unusual Celebrity Deaths_.

"Yeah?"

"D'you have any idea how Attila the Hun died?" asked Helen with enthusiasm as though she was reading the most interesting thing in the world.

"Ran over by a bulldozer?" offered Marissa.

Helen didn't pay attention to the sarcasm.

"Bled to death" she said agape. "From a nosebleed. On his wedding night. Can you believe it? What are the odds for something like that to happen? I mean, he was very brave man. Fearless, even. Wouldn't you expect him to die in a battle with the last will to protect his people?"

"I s'pose so."

"Oh, check out this book" Helen whispered ecstatically. "_Love letters of Napoleon_! Wouldn't you give your salary because of this?"

Instead of making a witty comment, Marissa only smiled. "I don't know about me, but I am sure you would."

Helen simply nodded and read a paragraph out loud: "_Come soon; I warn you, if you delay, you will find me ill. Fatigue and your absence are too much. Your letters are the joy of my days, and my days of happiness are not many_. Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Very."

Suddenly, the bells above the entrance doors jingled. Helen unwillingly raised her head, looking at Marissa petitionary.

"Please? I really want to do this. And, after all, you said you hated the arranging and you know I love it!"

"Alright, alright" sighed Marissa, as she put the books aside. "I'll go serve the costumer, but you owe me one!"

"You're the best." grinned Helen, continuing to sort the tomes.

She was just about to have a peep into _Julius Caesar's Biggest Mistake_, when she heard the voice of the man who entered.

_Oh… my… goodness…_

Helen was sure her heart had stopped, her mind had gone blank and her hands froze. Then in the next moment, her heart started beating faster and faster, as though it was trying to win a race.

_That voice… that voice… I know that voice…_

There was something unbearably familiar in his tone. Helen couldn't see the man because she was sitting on the floor covered in a large pile of books, but she could feel something strangely eminent. Helen instinctively grabbed the necklace around her neck, feeling her hand burning with heat. She perplexedly looked at the letters _HRH_ in her hand. Somehow, and Helen couldn't even explain it to herself, she knew the man had something to do with the necklace. Her brain started to mess with her. A lot of thoughts interlaced at the same time, leaving Helen completely helpless and lost.

_I have to go there… I have to see him… Oh my God, what if he's the one? Person from my past? What if he knows me? What if he's one of the three letters around my neck? But then again, maybe I am just hallucinating. What if I say something and he thinks I'm no less than a lunatic? Oh my God, oh my God, I need to relax. And I need to know. I must! I'm going there. Now. Immediately._

Helen squeezed the letters once more, rapidly stood up, and as she did so, a big number of books fell upon her. Helen cursed out loud.

"To hell with it! Not now! Why now, God, why?"

She gave her best to put them back in place as fast as possible, but it was apparent that she had lost a lot of time while doing so. As soon as she finished it, Helen quickly headed towards the front part of the store. Then she heard it again. The jingling. The bells.

_No, no, no…_

She was too late.

"No!!!" yelled Helen, speeding up.

_Please, God, don't tell me he's gone… please don't do this… please…_

"Helen" she could hear Marissa's confused voice as she was nearing her, "why in Christ's name are you hurrying so much? Have you finished the arranging yet?"

Helen didn't seem to notice Marissa's questions. Her mind was focused only on one thing: finding the mysterious guy.

"He… didn't go away already… did he?" asked Helen desperately, turning around to see if the man was still in the "Bookland".

"Who, Hel?" Marissa plainly asked, obviously being clueless "What are you talking about?"

"Him! The man! The man you talked to!" Helen said in one breath.

"The costumer? He's just left, but I don't understand why…"

Helen didn't wait for Marissa to finish the sentence. She quikcly opened the heavy entrance door and stepped out on a cold December breeze. She looked straight ahead, then left, then right, not even knowing who she was looking for.

_Oh, great… Just great. I should have asked Marissa how the man appeared before running out like an idiot…. Congratulations, Helen, you really have a gift to make your life even more miserable than it already is… I salute you…_

Then suddenly, in the end of the street, among many people, she saw a back of a man's figure. Figure that stood out. Helen's stomach made a jumble and she knew it. It was him, but he was far away from her. Helen was positive she could never catch him, even if she tried. She couldn't see how exactly he looked like, but one thing was for sure – he was tall, wearing strange black robes and his hair was extremely red. It was him. The person from her dream. She remember dreaming about a red-haired boy once... That man was one of the people she used to know. And she missed the chance to talk to him. 

"You evil, evil destiny.." muttered Helen numbly as she trembled on cold air. "You'll pay me for this one... Mark my words."


End file.
